CHILE

I'm in Chile now. I don't need a coat because it isn't so chilly here....and I'm not not chilly due to eating chilli, because I haven't eaten any here yet. 

Now that that's out of the way. I'm im Chile, it's great here. The weather here is great. It's getting warmer everyday. I enjoy seeing the temperatures here rise as the temperatures at home are getting lower. A year of summer is what I'm in for 😄 however, I'm afraid that I might die when I get back to Canada. I probably won't be able to handle it. I've only been gone 3 months-and I put a sweater on when it's only 20. 

My thoughts for now. 

I think I will start updating more regularly. I haven't seen this blog as an outlet lately-more like a chore. I've been feeling down also. On Saturday I was so homesick. 

I can't imagine how bad it would have been if I wasn't living with people I know and love. I just wanted to go home, to go back to the people that I know and love, to my adopted family and old life. I miss being able to do brunch, get together a finish a bottle of wine, go to the movies, try to watch once upon a time (but my internet was crap, so it took forever) among many other things. Thank you   everyone who told me it would be okay, I can come back whenever I want, and sent me love. I did have plans on Saturday but I cancelled them and stayed in bed all day. My momma just wanted to make me feel better-she's a trooper.

For the record-I'm not coming home early, I just can't. I know that if I do-I may regret it and I may not got an opportunity like this again. 

Nothing in particular happened, maybe that's the problem. Maybe I need to seize  the day more. I have felt bored so far ( I shouldn't, Santiago is a city of ~8 million). I don't feel like I have done anything special. Not like when I was in Asia. Well tomorrow is a full day! I'm excited! School, work, and I'm going out. 

Let's get real

So far my journey has been unbelievable. I have seen, done and tasted many new things and I am thankful for this. I have met many new people. I have been able to do things that I could never have even dreamed of. I haven't been posting much in the last couple weeks, because I have been busy with a boy (I'll post about that later) and I've been sad. My posts about Thailand are almost done. 

I truly miss being around people who give a fuck about me. I know I am not ordinary and I say inappropriate things, and I get distracted easily...but that's just apart of my charm...? I have felt so alone in the last few weeks. I wasn't alone though, I was living in a house with people, but I felt like I was alone. Seriously I was beginning to count down the days until I get to go to Chile.

On top of my feelings of wanting to crawl under to covers and not leave I was scared of running a workshop. I was scared and even considered running away from it. Previous experience with one of my practicums for Social Work was haunting me. I had to do group work, make crafts, and things with groups of children. My feedback from my immediate supervisor was something to the effect of "Natalie rarely has any ideas and when she does they are not good. Natalie is not creative and lacks potential. I will make an adequate teachers assistant". The comments got far more nasty and I would like to forget them all together. Only a handful of people other than myself have read them, these comments made me cry. Honestly they have been at the back of my head for some time and are probably one of the reasons as to why I didn't look harder for work in my field sooner. After discussing how I felt with my current supervisor (who is amazing by the way) he is right. 

I AM AMAZING! I did workshops and they went great, I had great ideas and my creativity was appreciated. I am so happy that I came to ARI. I felt very supported and free to do anything. Exactly what I needed to be able to get back on track for success. 

I'm living my story.

Currently I am in Taiwan, and I am alone here I am not with anybody, but I do not feel alone. This is just part of travelling alone, sometimes you feel alone and sometimes you do not. Those moments of wanting to stay under the covers all day, eventually pass. What's important is that you do not stay under the covers, go do and experience amazing things. Especially if you are in an amazing place. 

Thank you to all of my friends for listening to me complain and whine when I needed to. Love you so much!