Let's get real

So far my journey has been unbelievable. I have seen, done and tasted many new things and I am thankful for this. I have met many new people. I have been able to do things that I could never have even dreamed of. I haven't been posting much in the last couple weeks, because I have been busy with a boy (I'll post about that later) and I've been sad. My posts about Thailand are almost done. 

I truly miss being around people who give a fuck about me. I know I am not ordinary and I say inappropriate things, and I get distracted easily...but that's just apart of my charm...? I have felt so alone in the last few weeks. I wasn't alone though, I was living in a house with people, but I felt like I was alone. Seriously I was beginning to count down the days until I get to go to Chile.

On top of my feelings of wanting to crawl under to covers and not leave I was scared of running a workshop. I was scared and even considered running away from it. Previous experience with one of my practicums for Social Work was haunting me. I had to do group work, make crafts, and things with groups of children. My feedback from my immediate supervisor was something to the effect of "Natalie rarely has any ideas and when she does they are not good. Natalie is not creative and lacks potential. I will make an adequate teachers assistant". The comments got far more nasty and I would like to forget them all together. Only a handful of people other than myself have read them, these comments made me cry. Honestly they have been at the back of my head for some time and are probably one of the reasons as to why I didn't look harder for work in my field sooner. After discussing how I felt with my current supervisor (who is amazing by the way) he is right. 

I AM AMAZING! I did workshops and they went great, I had great ideas and my creativity was appreciated. I am so happy that I came to ARI. I felt very supported and free to do anything. Exactly what I needed to be able to get back on track for success. 

I'm living my story.

Currently I am in Taiwan, and I am alone here I am not with anybody, but I do not feel alone. This is just part of travelling alone, sometimes you feel alone and sometimes you do not. Those moments of wanting to stay under the covers all day, eventually pass. What's important is that you do not stay under the covers, go do and experience amazing things. Especially if you are in an amazing place. 

Thank you to all of my friends for listening to me complain and whine when I needed to. Love you so much! 

Sugar Daddy

Quick Story of how I accidentally got drunk.
First things first, this was not my fault.

Went to loco elvis with some of the girls because I am in love with a band that plays there. New Old Stock is what they are called. I have snapped man chats of them. So good and so sexy.

We are just sitting around chit chatting and having a drink, when a rose shows up at the table for me. The lady tells me who it is from,. Then a round of drinks show up at our table-so I go and say thank you. I say korp khun ka to the man and he starts talking Thai, I say sorry poot Thai nitnoy. He says that he doesn't speak English. So alright, I say thank you again and sit back down. A lady comes by selling bracletts and we tell her that we do not want any so she walks away (after a while). She shows back up at our table a few minutes later, and we tell her that we do not want any, she insists that they are paid for the same man.

  

Right: Our bracelets are so beautiful :) Left: The Rose and some of the drinks

We all smile.
Another round of drinks show up. The waitress says that the men would like to talk to Nora, I tell her to go and say thank you but he refuses to go. So I go with her...we all go. We took some photos together.

All of us with the man who was coined as my "sugar daddy"

Eventually one of the men says that there are four of them and four of us we should go together.....NO!!

Some other travelers came to sit with us, and these men eventually left.

Free Hugs

Walking around near the night market when I see a man with  sign....

FREE HUGS

I think heck yes!! I want me a hug.

The background music made this moment even better. Hearing "I wanna know what love is" made it so magical. 

So I got me a hug! The world needs more hugs!!

 His name is Luciano Pozzi

A few weeks later I met this man again. It was crazy. A friend recently told me that we meet everyone in our lives at least twice. So far, this holds true. 

Art Relief International

My first week at ARI is done. I have had some difficulties being able to work and open up due to some things that a practicum instructor had said to me once. It's still a little voice at the back of my head telling me that I'll be an adequate teachers assistant. Ugh-too bad for that person I am much more than that. With some encouragement from friends, family, and my wonderful supervisor I think that, yes, I am much more than that. I am doing my best to forget what she said and be better than that. I am a social worker, I am volunteering for a NGO abroad and doing something that I LOVE-art.

I love that as I am writing this I can hear the band playing at the bar close by-"what does the fox say" I am so happy right now!

Alina's birthday

Yesterday was Alina's birthday. She turned 19! So we celebrated. First with beer at home, then with cake provided by CCT/ARI. Then we went out. The night started at a jazz club by the north gate, so beautiful. Round of shots for everybody and a round of drinks. 

I wanted to dance, so Alina accompanied me to a dancing bar. I showed her the bar hop spot in town and we went to Zoe's. Always end up at Zoe's, saw some of the people I used to volunteer with. At Zoe in yellow we shared a bucket of lost in Chiang Mai. That's where it all went wrong. 

Don't get buckets, especially, of Lost in Chiang Mai (7 liqueurs mixed together with I don't know, I think it's mostly liquor). 

Anyways, we danced! It was a great time!

Then we stopped for food, because FOOD...!

I'm not sure how, but we met some guys...and they wanted to party but Alina wanted to go home (I did too). After we got in their car I asked them to take us home, told them about where we live and then have directions...so proud of myself. :) we got home, and this guy says are you sure you can't stay out...yes, I am very sure. I work at 9 am. At that moment we see Robson coming down the street-we flock to him and the Thai boys leave. People were still awake here, stopped and chatted for a minute then went to bed. 

I woke up this morning, and was asked to clean my vomit up...what...? Oh no...what did I do? My pajamas were on backwards. I went to the bathroom-so gross. I puked everywhere, I think I completely missed the toilet. 

The plus side...?

 The bathroom floor is the shower floor. So I turned the shower on as hot as it would go and sprayed everything down the drain.

The first time I've been happy about this fact. So handy. The first time I've been this drunk here. 

Now it's morning and I have a workshop to do. They will be here to pick us up at 9! 

Maetaman Elephant Camp

The Maetaman Elephant camp was an amazing volunteer experience. I am sad that I had to leave after 4 weeks. It was an amazing experience. I had the best time. Everything was awesome-from waking up and seeing elephants out of my window every morning, to the people who work there and my most wonderful volunteer coordinator, Jin, at the camp.

Thinking back now, it's kind of like a fairy tale that I could only have dreamed.

When I started this program-if we've met before you would probably know that mornings aren't my thing. In fact that's the opposite of my thing. But I got up at 5:30 AM Monday-Friday and with only 1 alarm set. That's right only 1 alarm. I am fairly proud of this, it probably helped that I would go to bed somewhere between 7:30-9.

My first day at the elephant camp-we dug right in after orientation. packing vitamins and feeding them to the elephants, followed by lunch and then we got to meet and bath our elephants in the afternoon. Jin started running around like crazy as everyone was down in the river except for me, I guess my mahout didn't show up or he forgot or something. So I waited patiently until Jin said that I would have a new elephant tomorrow but for now I can bathe Tong Sue one of the biggest elephants at the camp.

Tong Sue and I after bath time

My first time on an elephant

The group bathing our elephants. Ernie is the elephant underneath the man with the pink shirt (Swhet). I am behind him. 

My new elephant was Ernie, and I think she is the best!

The Beautiful Ernie during bath time

I am so happy that I got her; combined with her mahout, Sweht, they are an amazing duo. He is so nice and fun to work with. I think that it was a good match for me. We don't speak the same language and it is difficult for us to communicate, a lot, but we counted poops. He was silly, funny, kind, a singer of songs and always smiling-just so wonderful. We had many laughs together. Sometimes when I would try to splash other people in the river it backfired on me and my basket water poured all of Sweht. Sometimes on the way to the show in the morning he would call out to me and motion for me to come over (I would pass by Ernie on my way to the show), and he'd let me ride her to the show. She is so precious. Sometimes between the shoes Sweht would give me his mahout stick and tell me to bring Ernie back, she would always wonder off to go eat - she was always hungry. I felt very honoured, sometimes between shows or if there wasn't a show he would hang around so I could hang out with Ernie. I loved it. I cannot say enough good things. I will forever remember lying down on top of Ernie while she was happily eating after bath time thinking I can't believe this is my life. "Sabie-dee maak" Sweht would say

Ernie and Sweht

At the shows I would have to help tourists as well as help sell paintings made by the elephants. There was a boy who was about 10 once, and he was just balling. He was so upset because he thought that the elephants were being abused. I explained to him that the mahout sticks are not sharp and that elephant skin is 2 inches thick so that is why they need a stick like that. It basically just pokes the elephant like any human would do with their finger. Everyone loved helping out at the shows, between the shows when the tourists were gone we would get to hang out with the elephants.

             

 

Left - Natalie (elephant) with the Medicine man (George Takai or Toh) as a fill in mahout for the day and us - the volunteers!
Right - Natalie (elephant on the left) and Imboon (elephant on the right) with her mahout Somboon. Imboon was going in for a hug and got my bum!

Elephant kisses are sometimes dirty and smelly, but SO cute. **JUB**

At the camp we would alternate days of helping in the kitchen or helping at the show. Helping in the kitchen meant peel 20lbs of potatoes. At first they went easy on us, only 1 bag for 2 people. Then it got serious, 1 bag per person. I am now an expert...maybe.

 This is where we peeled our vegetables every morning. In the left photo Jin is looking at the camera making the best face ever I think. 

The wonderful cooks in the kitchen. I wonder if they ever get tired of cooking the same thing all the time. 

POOH POOH PAPER

I also learned how to make pooh pooh paper. At the elephant camp, they make lots of pooh pooh paper, because they have lots of pooh pooh to work with.

A lovely trail of coconuts - otherwise known as elephant pooh

Emptying the elephant poo (kee) into a sink to wash it

Then the pooh pooh gets boiled for 2 days

Then the pooh gets put into the mixer again with pulp to make it stronger

One of the elephant pooh pooh paper maker professionals

Then the paper needs to dry in the hot sun for 5-6 hours. "Actually elephant pooh, does not smell that bad"- Jin. 

Making the paper was not so bad, it was easy - all the really hard work and gross work had already been done for us. we just scooped it up onto screens to make sheets of paper. 

I feel that I learned a lot working at the camp. I learned a lot about elephants, Thai people, Thai language (even though I kept getting it wrong, but eventually I would get it right :) and I learned about myself. 

Our volunteer coordinator at the camp was amazing. He makes the experience so wonderful, always encouraging us to just try it, and suggesting new things for us to do. He is funny and full of magic tricks that I couldn't always quite get. When I did figure the magic out, I was PROUD. Jin was always organizing something for us to do like trekking through the jungle bareback on our elephants.

I'll never forget my experiences at the Maetaman Elephant Camp. They have been invaluable to me. Being in the jungle has helped to begin to bring me back to peace, and out of the crazy life that I had back in Canada. Such a peaceful fun loving place. I'll never forget my time here. All of the crazy things, the crazy mahouts, all of the laughs and all of the love. I'm coming back. There are a few pregnant elephants right now, I will come back. 

Here are some photographs from camp of times that were great and captured on film. Not everything that was great was captured on film. 

 

Left: Natalie and Natalie
Right: Tookie - tried to eat me! Not really, she wouldn't do that, but I did stick my head in her mouth...

Left: My new hat from Dolo (Natalie elephant's mahout) as I gave my last hat to Haad to eat

Right: A bug which people buy and watch fight other bugs like. A bug when dropped on Natalie's hand without her knowing causes her to scream bloody murder.

Left: A Natalie selfie taken while I was on Ernie for the last time

Right: A Jin selfie

Jack Sparrow and I - He told me his name was Jack Sparrow, and I didn't get it at first. I thought he was trying to say something in Thai and I couldn't understand. His real name is Dam. He is very friendly. He told me many times that he loved me and that I am beautiful. He even went so far to ask me if I wanted to be a mommy for his baby. Dam is AKA #1 handsome in Chiang Mai

Left: Jin and I are "SAME SAME, BUT DIFFERENT" I had a mission to buy this shirt and as it turns out I bought the exact one that Jin already had. 

Right: Coffee at the BEST coffee place EVER! Here is a link to her facebook page.

        
Left: Dun noticed me creeping in the bushes while they were in the river for the show and so he tried to spray me
Right: Flowers in my hair because I love life

Marcel: Such a character. He always said to just "love life man" and "live in the moment". 

Words to live by. 

Marcel also ALWAYS made us ask "where is Marcel?" because he would often disappear. He always showed back up again. 

Ernie and I. Sweht got Ernie to pose for photos and then took some photos for me.

Timing and dosage

So true it's scary. A beautiful quote written on the wall in the ARI (Art Relief International) office. Life is all about doing things at the right time and in the right quantities. Living a life of excess is not good and living a life without enough is also not good. There needs to be a balance in the world between the two.i hope my timing to go away was good. I hope I can help affect some change in the world and further my education about people, myself and the world. 

I am on an incredible journey and I couldn't be happier-my heart today feels so full of love and life. I can't believe that I am able to do this with my life. I can't believe that this is happening.

I am so thankful for everyone that I have in my life. I am so thankful for the support that I receive. I am so thankful that I am able to do this with my life. 

Life is also about choices. You can choose to be happy. I choose happiness. I choose to help people when I can and I choose to be grounded. I choose to be better and to educate myself. 

"Love life" a quote which I steal from Marcel. 

Stuck on an Escalator

Today is day #1 of orientation for Art Relief International. It has been amazing. I can't  wait to get started tomorrow. 

Dan took us to the mall today so we could get any things that we were missing.  They had a Dairy Queen-I was so excited for this. 

On the escalator eating some Dairy Queen

Moments after I took this picture, I was at the bottom of the escalator and so was my dress. My beautiful maxi dress. I was stuck. My dress was stuck in the escalator! I am pulling but nothing is happening. A man walking by suggests we stop the escalator, Dan finds the stop button and presses it. I still can't pull my dress out. Finally Dan gives it a good yank and it comes out...

This is the bottom of my dress now 

Ripped and covered in grease. 

I am so sad. Good thing this is a long dress, maybe I can just show it a little shorter. Plus side-I'm okay and I ate my Dairy Queen. 

Renting a Scooter in Pai

This weekend I want to Pai with Javierva (another volunteer, she is from Chile and we have the same birthday).

The best way to get around Pai is to rent a scooter because all of the things to do are spread out-various temples waterfalls and the Pai Canyon. 

Step 1:Rent a scooter

Mission accomplished! I had no passport so they photocopied my ID and took 1000thb deposit.

   Our pink scooter

  Javiera and I 

Javiera and I-you can never have too many scooter selfies!

I was driving and Javiera rode on back-she was too nervous to drive herself. Also I told her I could drive a scooter (this was my first time-never did it before, how hard could it be...?)

Step 2: Learn how start said scooter

They started it for me twice in front of me. And I said okay. So we drove off. We were driving to find a place to eat. We stopped on the side of the road to look at a map. Then I could not start the scooter again. Fuck! Did they give us a broken one? Ummm....what to do? So Javierva flagged someone down who was driving by on a scooter (mother with 2 children). She stopped to help us out. Actually her son came over to show us how to start it. A 10 year old. Oh my. Very nice people-so thankful they stopped. The trick is that you also need to hold down the front brake and press the ignite button at the same time.

Step 3: Find a gas station

They gave us a scooter with no gas, we need gas. This should have been easier than it was. We drove for a while and  asked many people before we finally found one. This was an automatic gas station (no attendants). 

Step 4: Figure out how to pump the gas and figure out where it goes 

Where is the gas cap? Never have I felt so useless and like such a female stereotype, where I don't even know how to pump my own gas. No gas cover anywhere...maybe it is under the seat? I know the seat lifts up-I've seen all the other scooters do it. But how? The key needs to be in the position next to "on" and then you press the button that says "seat" and you can lift it from behind. 

That seems like a more logical use for the button that says seat. What I first saw it I thought that it was for a seat warmer...

Gas cap found! 

Pumping it was also weird at this station. Put the money in-done. Press the green button probably. And press the gas nozzle handle. And then "ERR" appears on screen. 

..?..?..?

After a few more tries of trying-it works! A full tank of gas for 100 thb! 

   Javiera and myself in front of the gas station

Step 5: Don't crash

We have planned to go to 3 different waterfalls and some temples. I've seen how people drive here and they are crazy! Also remember to stay on the left.

Everything was going great! We made it to the Pai Canyon and were on our way back from waterfall #1 pembok waterfall.

It has been raining on and off again all day. Maybe a nice treat from the heat. Long story short my sunglasses fell and so I wanted to stop to grab them, I started braking and hit the front brake by accident. Uh oh! Before I knew it we were down. 

     My leg

    My arm

War wounds I call them. After the fall-we got up dusted ourselves off and drove back to the hotel covered in mud and blood. I wish I had a picture. Got to the hotel, parked and the guy came out asked us what happened and helped clean us off. We went to get changed because we were also very dirty and wet. We left to find some food, by foot. We were a little defeated. We found some good eats I had small bowl of pumpkin soup so I would be able to eat mango sticky rice later. Mmmm.  And then I also ate a banana Nutella street crepe. I figured why not! All is good now. 

My wound is trying to make a scab, people keep asking me what happened...

I'm so beautiful

On my way back to Chiang Mai from Pai we stopped at a rest stop at the halfway mark. I was sitting at a table eating some chips looking at the jungle in awe. I looked over to another table-and I swear this man was taking a picture of me. But he put his phone down and did nothing. A few minutes passed and he came over to me offer me some salt banana chips (also yummy) inquired about my scrapes and told me that I was very beautiful. He asked me where I came from and say back down. A moment later he came back and asked if we could take a photo together.

  Sure. :)

This man has a couple photos of us together and possibly some others that he took without my consent. Oh well. I also take photos of people without their consent. 

Last day

Today was my last day at the elephant camp. I am very sad that I will not be coming back on Monday. The people there are so kind, fun loving and all around good people. At this mornings bath, one of the mahouts asked if I was leaving today-I said yes. So he started splashing me, it was a little cold I was trying to splash him back but the others quickly joined in and I was out numbered and and could not see. So I stood there. I got them back after. When I say he asked if I was leaving-I am not implying that they speak English well. Much of our communication was done with a word here or there and pointing combined with charades. A fun experience learning how to communicate all over again. But with charades and our fantastic volunteer coordinator, Jin, communication was easy (sometimes funny).

My mahout gifted me an elephant hair ring, probably from Ernie's hair, to say thank you. It is beautiful! 

I gifted my mahout a drawing of Ernie. She is very beautiful. I made it on pooh pooh paper, so there is probably some of her in the paper as well. 

Today is a sad day, it is the day that this door closes. But that is okay, another door for the next step in my journey is about to open and I am excited for it. 

My last ride on Ernie. She posed for pictures. ❤️